Day 150 – Because you care
Though we have doctors, nurses and therapists who care there are also those who do the work with no reward other than trying to put a smile on the face of a loved one. Over the years my parents, boyfriends, siblings and friends have all played their own part in caring for me. They try to bring me up when I am low by calling round to see me because I will not leave the house. They bring milk to the house when I’m too much of a mess to visit the supermarket and they tell me it will get better even when I lie there convinced there is no hope.
I was a wreck today from start to finish. I was meant to go to a gig with the boy but I couldn’t because no matter what he tried to cheer me I couldn’t stop crying. He does not have to look after me but he does and when I said I could not come he went to the shops and bought me a paper, a pointless magazine and some chocolate just in case. He tidied the room so I wouldn’t feel stressed and made sure there was food in the fridge making me lunch so he knew I would have eaten at least something.
It is horrid that he is having to do this, for a girl who is meant to be his partner and it frustrates me so much that this is where we are. He promises me it will turn around, that its just taking longer than we thought but in the mean time I feel so guilty that I am letting this thing take me and the effect it is having not on me but on everybody else.
They are all doing their bit to help, whether its trying to drag me out, giving me lifts or sending me sweet messages that I don’t reply to because I just don’t know what to say. How did I get here and how do I get back?
- Today’s dress was a gift from my Godmother another of the great givers in life. Perhaps I should have saved it for a festival but the boy loves the colour on me and was hoping it would cheer me up. It is from a shop in Harborough called Labels For Less, it does not say what the label is however but I can tell you that it is 100 per cent cotton and really rather cute.
