Day 183 – Why Simon Amstell made me cry on my half way day
Dear readers,
Can you believe that it has now been half a year since this project began? Discounting the two weeks which happened but are perhaps best left to blow in the winds of the past, together and apart we have read, worn and written our way through 183 dresses.
On this half way mark perhaps you would like to leave comment, what has been your favourite dress or your favourite day. My only regret to date is that there has not been more response or more debate on the actual blog itself. So many of you have wrote me, texted me or just told me about what you’ve liked and what more importantly what you haven’t which is lovely but I do wish there was more evidence of you in the posts themselves.
I chose this dress for today as though it is a little wron it was one which was given to me by the lovely people who attend a group supported by Mind in my town. I wore it to remind myself and others that there is a purpose to this project, to not only raise money for Mind but to also raise awareness of issues surrounding mental health.
When I started this project I had only recently began to come out about my own issues. For years I never talked about the depression and even when it hit I would hide myself away rather than admit to anyone close to me what was happening in my head. There were of course a very select few who knew what I was going through but they were extremely select; family, boyfriend of the time and maybe just a couple of others. Partly the shame I felt was because of bad experiences of sharing things with the wrong people who through no fault of their own could not handle it or just reacted in a way which further enforced my belief that the illness made me a bad or a broken person.
Though this year has not been a perfect one by far, the one thing that I have learnt is the more people who know the more people there are to help when things take a turn for the worst. Also it would seem that contrary to my original belief there are many people who are accepting of mental illness. It is more common than one would imagine and though I always knew this there is something quite sobering about how many people come forwards to share their own experiences. It is a common illness and though there is still a lot of shame and fear surrounding it how nice it can be that though it is adreadful illness we are not so unique in the pain that we feel.
Has this blog helped more people understand what depression and bipolar 2 is about? I don’t know, that is a question dear reader that can only be answered by you.
When I wrote the title for this blog I guess if I’m honest I was being a tad dramatic. When I went to Glastonbury with the boy we bumped into Will Young at a bar who very kindly at the request of the boy allowed me to introduce myself to him. He was totally sweet and though he was obviously there with friends enjoying a pint of cider he graciously put up with my verbal three minute assault about how much I loved his music, how lovely I thought it was and in a moment of madness how if he ever needed anything including a surrogate for his child I would be his willing vessel. Shameful I know but in spite of this he still agreed to have a photo with me and it was one of the top ten moments of my life.
Today then when I suddenly realised I was stood beside Simon Amstell I guess I was expecting a similar experience though I am not as big a fan as I am of the lovely Mr Young. Though he is rather funny dear reader when I saw him my first thought was how nice it might be for you to see a photo on lostinnotation with a real life celebrity. The boy tried to ask him politely and quite rightly I suppose he told him to shhhh due to a band being on at the time.
As I felt a little sorry for him due to our interrupting his listening pleasure I behaved myself and other than a few quiet sentences about when he had arrived and who had they; he was accompanied by a very tall man who reminded me of the giant from the Princess Bride; seen I kept my cool and even told the other lads to behave when they tried to pap him.
At the end of the show however I tried to ask him whether a photo with him might be acceptable, in as polite a way as possible or so I thought. He declined, but not so politely. As I said when I wrote the post I was being dramatic though the rejection did make me rather tearful to be fair to the guy he is probably sick to death of being approached by people and after the boy’s friend reminded me of this and more importantly told me to pull myself together I swallowed down the salt of the tears with a can of cider and we all had a bloody brilliant night out!
- The dress does not have a label but it is long and feels lovely and cool in the heat of the fields. I love my hat and though I usually find them far too childish I thought I would go with the festival flow and plait my hair. The belt was sent to me by my mysterious blog benefactor.
2010 in review « Lost in notation blog said,
January 2, 2011 at 9:51 am
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