Lost in notation blog

Day 186 – Making the same mistake

July 22, 2010 at 8:45 am (Uncategorized)

I feel like I’m sinking a little today.  It may have something to do with having such an amazing holiday and therefore a bit of flat lining was inevitable.  I am starting perhaps to feel a little overwhelmed again.  I’m a silly sod when it comes to trying to manage this ridiculous illness.  I get better, it sometimes seems to quickly and I forget how not to become poorly again.  As soon as I’m better I forget that much like a person who has had a bad flu or healed a broken bone taking it easy for a few weeks afterwards would not be such a bad plan.  The trouble is that as soon as I’m well I want to get back on the horse even without first finding the stirrups, the saddle or even the riding boots.

Today when I got home from work I suddenly felt extremely conscious of the fact that once again I appear to have taken on too much.  In less than five days I have an event to organise, invites to be sent out, photos to be polarised and promotion to get done.  There is also I realised as I opened the post, three singles to review, seven blogs still to write and even a photo shoot still to take as the boy and I were a bit to tipsy to remember to take the pictures  on Friday as we were a tad tipsy and lost in the loved up Latitude vibe.

I wish I just had the sense to say no to things.  In view of the fact that it wasn’t so long ago that I was feeling borderline s word on a regular basis surely I should be trying too avoid too many stresses.  Though most of the time my self esteem is not the greatest even I have to admit that my recent ability to keep up with the blog and finally feel as though I have found my footing at work is no mean feat.  The problem is not even that people put things upon me I do it myself without even meaning to and before I know it I find myself in the same place, overwhelmed, overtired and making the same old stupid mistakes.

• Today’s dress is from Next and though a little cut is lovely and summery and as is always good on a dark day gives me the illusion of being brighter than I feel.