Lost in notation blog

When I head up to see the boy I am a little bit of a sad case.  As well as singing loudly to various love struck tunes I check the clock impatiently whenever a speed camera, red light or roundabout stand in the way of my gaining an extra few minutes by his side.  Traffic jams challenge my good road karma and I find myself wondering whether the traffic police would accept an explanation of “wanting to see my man” as an acceptable use for using the hard shoulder.  As it is necessary for me to avoid these trails of thought my mind often gets to thinking about the two of us and all the times we’ve had together.  I do my best to focus on the good to prevent myself turning up on his door step with a bee in the bonnet of my car and a positively waspish disposition.

When I was heading up today, I was struck by a memory so vivid that I recalled nearly every detail.  The boy and I had been together for just a matter of months and were now officially boyfriend and girlfriend.  I had seen him that morning and was walking back to my house down a long lane branched over by a hundred oak trees.  The air was fresh as it was not long after raining and there were puddles all along the pavement.  I was wearing a red patterned skirt slit and split at strange angles which I had brought back from a holiday with my girls.  I had paired it with opaque tights, a plain black top and Red or Dead spike heeled ankle boots with silver stilettos so sharp you could pierce metal with them.

I was completely loved up and quite close to skipping when I bumped into an old friend who I had studied with in my first year.  Though it had been figuratively years since we had seen each other we had a chat, caught up and though I tried to contain it I ended up boring the poor thing by telling her about the lovely boy (the boy) who I had met.  After we caught up I went along my merry way and plugged myself into my pretty pink iPod to prevent the gangs from Mothside who hang out in nearby murder park from ruining my loved up vibe.

In an attempt to musically educate me the boy had downloaded me a number of new albums.  Though I had briefly listened to a few of them I was reluctant to be brain washed and when a song came on by CowTown I was hit by accurately it described how I was feeling.  If you’ve heard of the band you will already know the song but for the uninitiated allow me to lyrically lull you with a few select lines of the song, sweet Secret of Mine: “When I ask you how I’m going and I know I must be glowing, I just tell you everything’s fine I don’t let on that secret of mine.  That I dance instead of walking, I skip instead of talking all the words and reveries ’cause I’m under your spell and I’ll never tell your sweet secret of mine.”

Isn’t that just beautiful?  Anyway even if its not for you, for me it perfectly epitomises that beautiful beginning of a relationship where everything about one another is just sickeningly perfect.  You have to hide from everyone else that glow you feel because it’s so delicate in the beginning that even the slightest blow in the wind could wreck it.  People ask you, indeed as the song does say, how things are going and we are forced to hide our blushes behind our hair and attempt to deflect the question to prevent the bubble of happiness bursting causing us to shout out, “Well it’s actually amazing, bloody brilliant in-fact, I honestly can’t believe that I have found someone who makes me this happy.”

After the boy and I got together his house mates ripped on him about the permanent smile he was walking around with.  Luckily for him he resisted the temptation to skip and sing so the teasing eased off eventually but he still has the same smile which made me fall for him.  We drive each other crazy but even today the thought of being with him makes this devil dreamed up traffic jam bearable.  Even after the longest, hardest, saddest week I could never hope to face, it can all be endured knowing he is there at the end of it ready to make it just a little bit right with just one of those smiles.

• Today’s dress is from H&M and much in the same theme of today’s post I have been saving it till I went up to see the boy.  He is in his new home and it’s the first time I have seen it and I didn’t want to look a mess when I met his new house mates so I chose something that was pretty and red and rather demure.  Also he is a big fan of dresses which are rather close cut so that was part of today’s dress thought process as well I guess.