Lost in notation blog

Day 189 – Change, because though inevitable is it really totally necessary?

July 27, 2010 at 8:50 pm (Uncategorized)

The world is all about change according to the new book I am reading.  The book said that change is natural and therefore resistance to it is unnatural and in turn unhealthy.  The natural state of human being is perhaps then that we should be moving forward, looking to progress and searching for opportunity and fresh challenges.  This then is where I fail, I hate change and find it nearly impossible to accept. When it happens I am near child like in my mind as I selfishly ask the question: “Why can’t everything just stay the same?”

It has no right to do so but my heart breaks a little when any change occurs.  It can be as trivial as the end of a particularly well loved series or as brutal as the end of a relationship.  Life is of course a complicated matter and change can be healthy as it brings new beginnings, possibilities and opportunities.  In spite of this though it is still change and therefore I like it not.

My mother has always been brilliant at change, she embraces it and whole heartedly and actually, she enjoys it!  When I first went to university I think it was hard for her to understand why I was so miserable.  The truth is silly but all I could think was that I loved my friends and my family and couldn’t bare the thought of finding new ones when I was perfectly happy with the old.  To this extent then I perhaps need to learn to get over it as I love all the new friends I made at university and love them just as much as my even older friends.

The boy is another being who is reasonably happy with the prospect of change and has settled into life with his new house mates rather well.  While at a gig this evening some friends asked the boys how the separation was going since they all went their separate ways and they all said great.  Frankly I fear that the only one affected by the move is me as I was hoping they would change their mind and stay together right up until the moment the last bag was being packed.  They have been living together for more than four years yet they move out with little worry whereas I have been left inconsolable after moving from homes where I have been less than a year.  I am it would seem quite the odd one out. I have tried to challenge this resistance to change but in my head I love the idea of the world where my friends never had to move away, where things stayed the same and where change was a rarity rather than an inevitability.  Perhaps I should have been an Amish though thanks to Channel 4 even they are no longer safe.

• Today’s dress is from New Look I believe it was given to be by my Fairy God Mother who recently became the proud Nan of a grandson called Freddie.  It is a little short which I only realised when I put on the boy’s jacket when it rained on the way to their gig in Preston and could no longer see the bottom of the dress.  Luckily I was wearing nice tights and shoes  so hopefully they distracted from the hemline.
• For those of you who may have been confused by the above comment the tights and shoes were on while I was out and about, I admit that bare legs and flip flops do not look so great in photos but I was a little too tipsy when we got home and refused to pose for photos as I wanted to play on the Wiii.