Day 215 – The pictures you will never see
Sometimes I feel a little over exposed, not so much what I write about all the mental health issues or even the every day dramas of my world but more the photos, the endless images of myself in cyberspace.
I am sick of the sight of my face, of uploading pictures with me trying to not look like a total eejot. As you can imagine this is no easy feat and a lot of the times the photos you see are retakes or a select few from a memory stick filled with far more flawed photos.
Perhaps then this is why I bought us two disposable cameras on the first day of the holiday. If we take them on the digital they will probably somewhere along the line be uploaded to facebook for all to see. Like the blog photos they will be there for all to see rather than for us to show and explain. I read an article about old photos and what they show of the world which has changed so much. A software has been put together which is able to show you photos from the past when you take a picture in the past. In this way you could be walking through Coventry and see on a street corner the remains of a house no longer there destroyed in the blitz.
I want our holiday snaps to be special but to also be authentic. I want to receive them back in a paper coloured sleeve with negatives slipped inside kept in plastic so they can be treasured and stored away. I love the idea of having a set of pictures, some of which are imperfect and expressions which may be hideous or eyes which squint or gleam with red.
These will be the pictures that we will store in an album, an album which can be taken out by either of us over the years. It will be testament to this holiday, to the fact that we were young and in love and at this time, in this week that we were having a bloody good life. You will never see these pictures, unless you are in my home and I choose to share them or show them to you. These will be the pictures that you cannot see unless you see me, not in an image on a screen but in life where I am imperfect but real and wonderfully unexposed.
- Today’s dress was a donation from HP. I am not sure what the label is but we wore it on a coastal walk through Newquay where the photos are taken towards the edge of a cliff.
