Day 222 – How to save a life
There are some things that are a part of this illness which I have buried as much as I can. Some things I have not wanted to address because although I want these posts to be as open and honest as I can about my own experience of mental illness there are some issues which even for me are too personal or too raw. Among them, the S word is one of those issues that I have sidestepped whenever possible. The truth is that though I have got to this stage more times than I would like to admit it is still too tough to really talk about. Part of the problem is fear of how people will react. It is a bit of a conversation killer to admit to feeling this way and few people know what to say or whether they even should. When I have felt this way in the past it has been so hard to tell people about it because if they do react in a way which is uncaring or insensitive they leave you even more vulnerable than before you stepped up the courage to beg for help. Even now as I am writing this I am having to pull back my finger from the backspace. I use the S word because it is too scary and too frightening to wonder at people’s reaction if I did not.
The sad fact is that unless you have ever got to the stage where you feel this way you cannot understand it. It’s sad because there is nothing people need more when they are in this situation other than understanding, compassion and unconditional love. Though I am not yet ready in this post and maybe never will be in this blog to discuss the three attempts I have taken on my own life, I still need to talk about the S word today as there are lives at stake.
In the paper this week there are two terrible tales of people who were loved who are now dead because of the s word. Though I shall not share specifics of the stories what chilled me and left me sobbing in the toilets as I was proofing them was the fact that these people did not have to die. The trouble with getting to the stage where you think the only option is suicide is that you think all hope is gone. The thoughts bombard one’s head and there is no belief left that life will ever be bright again. Depression is so terrible because it makes you feel that you will be miserable for the rest of your life.
What can save people from falling and succumbing to these thoughts is the ones that come should you let out the cry. The problem with doctors and psychiatrists is they become involved once you ask for their help. They are brilliant and once they know you feel this way there is so much they can do , but the problem is that you need to feel up to making the call, for walking down to the surgery and saying those words. ”I feel…
The great thing about friends and family is that you do not always need to say these words or tell them how bad it has got, many of them will just know by the sound of your voice or the fact you’ve been out of touch. The difficult thing with depression and the S word is that it is so often darn near impossible to admit to it or to make that call to ask for help.
I guess the reason I am raising this today, as garbled as this post may be and as hard as I have found it to write, is that I want you to know that there is something you can do if you know someone is feeling this way. Though they may not answer the phone, if you know where they live you can call round. If they don’t reply to your email try sending them a letter by hand. They may not seem pleased to see you, they may even be so stuck in their thoughts that they find it hard to focus on anything but that doesn’t mean that they don’t need you. Having someone there for even an hour will mean even if they still feel it they wont be alone.
If you are concerned about them, call the doctor or another friend who can help out. If they are struggling with the house, clean the dishes do the washing offer to look after kids or mow the lawn. Do not trouble them with too many questions and whatever you do don’t let the words, “pull yourself together” or “get a grip” escape your lips.
They may say there is nothing you can do but if you can keep them company, take away one stress or just make sure they are getting support from the services you will have helped. You will have saved them from those unbearable thoughts of the s word even for just a short while.
- Today’s dress is from the swap shop. I think from Danielle Star again though I may be mistaken. My sister who is a sweetheart and just one of the many people who have done the above and in doing so saved my life time after time again took the photos. This dress has already had three confirmed bidders so if you like it and want it prepare for a fight.
