Day 224 – Stepping into the shoes of my saviour
Speaking to a friend today we got to talking about how life can be for the partner of a person who suffers from head poorly. Though the boy and I have more good times than bad sometimes I find it hard to understand how he sticks it out to see me through the sadness. It takes a pretty strong man to hold himself together while his girl has done nothing for three days but cry and yet he so rarely lets the strain show. There are times when I am poorly and even when I am well when I tell him that he should escape and get out while he still can. He is a sweetheart though and says it is no real trouble and that besides, regardless of whether there are rings on our fingers, the in sickness and in health part still applies.
I was out with the girls most of the day and so I arrived home to find him a little fed up. Though I assumed at first it was the result of being on his lonesome most of the day I couldn’t bring him up and in the end I cancelled our plans to go out on the town. Though he came round in the end him being this way if only for a few hours left me feeling so sad for him and what he has to go through every time I fall. It is a difficult thing to see from the other side and I wonder at a world which has blessed me with a man who has the strength and patience to pull me through time and time again. When I think of all the nights that he has had to cancel over the years, the planned outings which I couldn’t face I am in awe of all that he is and all he does for me.
I feel a lucky girl to have him and being in his shoes for just a few hours makes me more determined than ever to get well. I don’t want him to have to keep bringing me back from the darkness as he has to keep stepping into the shadows to do so. It is heart breaking to watch the one you love suffer and I don’t want to keep hurting him by letting this control me. I need to be better, I need to be better for him, for me and for us.
- The dress from today is another beauty with a zipped up back which is always a little bit naughty. It is a little strange as it looks like it is inside out and took me three attempts to put it on right. This is another dress from the Swap Shop and there will be more news soon to come of an upcoming swap shop event with a more homely feel.
