Day 270 – Preparing for a return to reality
Tomorrow I will return to work and though this is surely a good thing I am full to the brim with nerved. Past experience has taught me that thankfully I work in an office where there is support, understanding and kindness. Sadly this is not the first time I have had to take time off work but in some ways it is good as I know there are people who will be there for me and who are great as they will not ask awkward questions.
To get my mind off tomorrow and the fear that I will in one way or another fail at work I treated myself a little today. I hoped that if my nails were done and my legs were waxed that I would feel a little more like a normal person again. Credit must go to the beauty therapist I saw today whose spa is located in St Mary’s Place in Harborough. Her spa is called the Wellbeing and Beauty salon and thanks to her I now look a lot more like me even if I still feel tired and dowdy looking.
I am writing this with nicely manicured nails and smooth legs but I still fear that I will fail come tomorrow. Sometimes I wonder whether the blog is a good thing given how much of myself I tend to spill into these pages and the fact that when times are tough it can quickly become just another stress on a long list of worries.
My Grandma is a worrier and I have inherited this trait from her. I wish I could be stronger but at the moment I feel so weak and worried about all that lays before me. My head is filled with questions of what ifs and regrets about what has happened over the last month. I hope it goes okay come the morning but I am tired and scared and though I look like a lady I feel like a little girl unable to pick up the shattered pieces of a life gone awry.
