Day 271 – The tiny stepping stones to success
So I did it, I actually managed to return to work. It was tiring and when I got in after nearly a full day there I was ready to collapse but still I managed it and was even able to turn out some copy.
It is all about taking it slow and there were times I had to check myself and hold back but I am pleased. Having success from doing these tiny little steps does help me out a lot and though I am exhausted I did it and it feels good to be back at work doing the job that I love.
A lot of my fear while on the inside is that work would decide that I was just too much of a risk. I feel so embarrassed about the time I have taken off as it has fallen to my colleagues to pick up the slack and though they never once made me feel bad about it nevertheless I know everyday I was away was a strain on them all. There have been times during the last six months when I have been ill when I felt it was prudent to resign so as to allow someone stronger to take my place. I am glad though that I didn’t as this job is my dream and all the while I was ill it was the thought of getting back to doing what I loved that kept me going.
I am an extremely lucky girl as I work at a place where they do their best to support me in the tough times. Not everyone who suffers from depression or what I do is able to do this and I am grateful that I landed a job at a place where they strive to make it easier for me. I have heard horror stories about bosses who do not take such a kind stance when it comes to mental illness and I am only to aware of how lucky I am.
Now though I must go to sleep so I can do this all over again tomorrow. It is tiring, truly it is, but I am at work and with each tiny step I take I am getting back to being the me that I so desperately want to once again be.
