Day 277 – A little ray of sunshine through the clouds of a dreary day
I am writing this post at 12.25am because if I wait until the morning the low will kick in again and I shall have neither the energy nor the inclanation for writing nor recording.
Things have been pretty bad all day, tears and tantrums but the clouds have cleared and I am once again hopeful and loving life. I am tired but I don’t want to go to sleep because of the possibility that I may wake up again in the morning with clouds over my eyes.
In my worse moments I have wondered off the ward, desperate, utterly desperate for escape from this low one way or another. I walked for as long as I could to try and take the sting out of the anxiety but it did not work.
What is worse for my family and friends who came to see me today is that I was still in the low patch when they visited and now I am on cloud nine. It is a source of great frustration to me that during the lows I cannot remember the highs and I can see no way that it can lift.
I have decided to keep going with the blog while I am in here. In the interests of my health I will not be updating the seven days from last week as it is just too bleak a period to blog back upon.
Hopefully things will pick up and the blogs will not all be doom and gloom but I want to carry it on and I hope that you will all forgive me if there are a few off days.
I am tired now, fingers crossed for a brighter day tomorrow or failing that a high that starts before 10pm at night.
