Day 333 – Lost in limbo
I do not remember much of the day, I have been a little drowsy and more than any other thing, I feel ever so lonely. I want to leave this hospital and just go back to my home but everyone here is obsessed with safety and all that pushing to leave got me was placed on another one.
So far I have managed to avoid being sectioned, mainly this was thanks to the boy who realised the hour of no other alternative had cometh and persuaded me to go quietly.
I do not understand why it has come back. I was fine on Thursday and not all that bad on Wednesday and so why now has the depression returned. I am tearful and angry at myself for not managing to control it or keep it at bay.
The urge to hurt myself on Sunday was so absolute that no matter what I did I could not escape the feeling.
All I want to do is to go home, I am tired of being told what to do, tired of trying to get better and tired of lying in a bed that is not my own. I want to get back to work, life, my town, to get back to everything but at the same time I just want it all to stop.
I am going to stop now, I am ever so confused and have given myself one hell of a headache.
